What Pip is referring to is that fateful first day at Miss Havisham's house. It was on this day that the wheel in his head started turning. That he first thought about his commonplace life, and how Miss Havisham and Estella are "better than him." He was so altered by this that he became ashamed of his home. He was fearful that Estella would see him working as a blacksmith and look down upon him (more so than she already did) Pip didn't want his life anymore. He started thinking about how he wanted to be a gentleman. He started thinking of how he was different.
A similar thing happen to me at the start of seventh grade. you see, I was homeschooled up until that day and I was a very socially awkward girl. I was weird and new. For the first part of seventh grade, I was very ashamed of who I was. I was also very naive, so I didn't realize what I was doing that repelled others. However, the first day this new girl came to my school, I thought how it could all be better. That this girl didn't know me, so I could try it again. It was because of her that I was able to except myself.
The End
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